Now that I am in my “30’s”...
I haven’t written anything in a shockingly long time. I keep thinking of things that would be so funny, or my kids will give me the best material ever – and I then promptly forget what it was within the hour. My brain has become mush - I am going to blame motherhood for that one. If I were more organised, I would have a notebook and pen handy at all times to write this stuff down… But I am not, so I don’t. So much has happened in recent weeks! My mind is reeling from it all. For one, I decided to take a “Facebook sabbatical” a few weeks ago, which I thought would be a cleansing and growing experience. It was on a whim really, but as I held in the little Facebook app icon and clicked on the X to delete it, I marvelled at how grown up I felt and how unattached I was to it… except, within a week, I felt like I had been stranded on a dessert island with Tom Hanks (from that movie with the volley ball, remember?). Did I have any new ‘likes’ on my page? What happened on this day exactly 8 years ago? Who are my friends, and how long ago did our friendships start? What new funny memes are trending? What fresh fake news is being shared? How can I make a remote control car using only a paperclip and a recycled toilet paper roll? I had no idea. I felt gripped with desperation for just one last log in. If I had known that my last scroll would be my last, I would have made it count. Luckily the withdrawals seemed to taper off after a little while, however I did have to apologise to some people for forgetting their birthdays… I also found a new love for Pinterest and I now have dozens of photos of garden ideas saved on my phone, even though I don’t much care for gardening. Another big event in our life was the purchase of our own home. We moved in, decorated and repainted. It was all so very exciting. Finally a place that is ours, to grow old in and make forever memories… or so we thought. Two months after we moved and settled, Barry was offered a transfer to Durban and we made the slightly mad decision to accept the opportunity. And so, three months after we unpacked, our grow-old and memory-making home is on the market. We still have a few unopened boxes! Isn’t it funny how fast things can change? How you can think you have your immediate future somewhat planned out and then life throws a twist in there? As we wait for what we thought would be our forever home to sell so that we can begin our new family adventure, I have realized that a lot of my life is spent making plans instead of enjoying the now. It all seems crazy now, as the things I have spent so much time planning have changed - just like that. The worry, anxiety or stress that these plans may have brought are all of a sudden rendered irrelevant. What could I have done with that time instead? Well, for one, I could have written more blogs I guess… I must say, though, that I am slightly terrified at the thought of moving so far from all I know. I am a creature of habit after all. I am the type of person who feels anxious when my local supermarket moves the cheese to another part of the store or stops stocking my favourite free range milk (I call it Happy Cow milk). I am sure it will take a while for me to settle into a new habit, although the regular beach visits and a golden tan may help me settle faster, I am sure. The last few months have also been a time of reflection for me. I am 30 now (wellllllll, I am actually closer to 31 than 30), and I suddenly realised that there are certain things that I should, technically, be able to do by this prime time in my adult life. Things I have not yet mastered. I started making a list of goals I would like to accomplish in the next year.
Here are a few of them: 1. Learn how to braid. During my recent Pinterest binges, I have seen dozens, and I mean dozens of the most amazing braids: French, Dutch, Fishtail, Waterfall, Ladder, Feather and Mermaid! Who knew there were so many? The options seems endless. Where was I when these new braids became popular? Who made them up and who was allowed to name them anyway? Braids have now become my number one search on Pinterest.
Little did I know, though, that in order to successfully achieve any of these braids, one needs to be born with at least 4 arms AND dislocated shoulders. I managed to finally do a beautiful braid in my hair with the help of a YouTube tutorial and Barry holding two of the strands throughout the process, but what should have apparently been a “5 minute hairstyle” ended up taking well over 25, and caused perhaps one of the biggest arguments we have ever had in our 9 years of marriage. 2. Find the perfect hat. This is more difficult than it sounds, seriously. I must have a weird shaped face or something, because none of the cool panama or fendora hats that look so trendy on others suit me at all! I own about 10 that I have bought, each time completely convinced that this is it - THE one, only to arrive home and find that it not only look completely ridiculous on me, but also suspiciously similar to every other one in my cupboard. They seem to sit on top of my head in a strange way and almost look like I have borrowed it from one of my children (coincidentally, panama and fendora hats look amazing on my children). The search for the perfect hat is ongoing and may, sadly, never be realised. 3. Learn how to cook. This goal, I am proud to say, is actually getting somewhere - although there is one appliance I rely heavily on and cannot cook without... which basically cooks the entire meal with very little input from me. Nevertheless, at least I am able to make a good veggie soup, a yummy stew and spaghetti carbonara. Add that to the list of fish fingers and salad that I can practically make in my sleep and one of these days (in the far off future, if I am honest, as I am not as invested in this cooking thing as I should be) I will have to think of a new name for my blog. 4. Lose at least 10kgs. Now this one is my nemesis. My Everest. The unreachable goal that seems to get harder as the years go by and the fat around my waist and thighs sets up shop, getting truly comfortable where it is – I have clearly created such an inviting environment for it that it now refuses to budge. Over the years my thigh gap has disappeared, and if my thighs rub together any more than they do now I fear that I just may start a fire. Admittedly, the dozens of doughnuts and slabs of chocolates eaten (okay, more like inhaled) probably haven’t helped things. Mondays start off well with good intentions to drink at least two litres of water a day and reduce carb and sugar intake to zero. Then, before I know it, I am licking Nutella off the butter knife I used to make the kids sandwiches and it’s all downhill from there. By Sunday I am walking around with chocolate (and a look of mild hysteria) on my face, licking crumbs off my shirt with crisps stuck in my hair. I must tell you though, that I have recently bought myself my first pair of spanx. Where have these beauties been all my life? Tight stretchy pants that suck in your bum, thighs and stomach - in all their sexy, flesh-coloured glory. I have since gone back to buy more pairs, and these puppies have become part of my regular wardrobe. I don’t just consider them clothing, I consider them an investment.
As life passes by me (at a speed I am definitely not comfortable with) and I continue to stumble my way blindly through this thing called motherhood, I am absolutely determined to slow down a little. My children continue to teach me that sometimes I need to stop to allow myself take everything in and notice the small stuff before it’s too late.
You will never regret taking a time-out from making plans to enjoy where you are right now - oh and to try on a damn hat before you buy it.
