Not-so-Zen Mommy
Holy moly I have battled with patience this week. I always - every single damn morning - plan to be the best, most Zen and patient mom on the planet that day. Somehow, around dinner time, this plan goes pear shaped, the wheels fall off the bus and I turn into that lava monster from Moana. Is it just me? I don’t know about you, but I think part of the problem is that moms (both parents actually!) today have the weight of SO much pressure to be perfect on their shoulders – it totally pulls us down and drives us slightly bonkers in my opinion. We are expected to have our kids at school on time, in a uniform that is not full of pet hair (in our house this is no small feat I tell you), have their teeth brushed AND wearing matching shoes. We are constantly on the move. After a full day’s work, we rush to get our kids to or from dancing/soccer/swimming/trombone lessons while remembering to buy milk and bread (whole-wheat or low GI obviously, because, like, white bread is SO bad for them) in between – getting home after 6pm sometimes. Our kids should have home cooked, healthy dinners every single night - full of hidden, organic vegetables - AND at the table as a family. They should be bathed and ready for bed at a reasonable hour (they need 10 to 12 hours sleep, you know) and they should have limited screen time. They should have done their homework, plus we should have signed it off (don’t be THAT mom that forgets to sign off the homework) and checked for school letters. Bedtime should NOT be rushed. Requests for a thousand sips of water and 6 more stories should be met with gracious and happy responses. Also remember that snuggle time is very important for bonding: this is the time when we should listen intently to the 20 minute story our children could have told us at the family dinner we almost killed ourselves to make, but instead answered “fine” when you asked how their day was. Remember to continuously tell yourself that they will be bigger soon and won’t want you there – this will increase your anxiety and guilt, which will help you perform better as a parent. After the 40 minute (at least) bedtime routine, lunches for the next day should be packed and school clothes taken out – preparation is key here. School lunches should be nutritious only – no treats. No sugar. No chips. Home lunches should be same. We must also ensure we remember which days of the week are PE uniform days, civvies days or bring a book to school days. Don’t be THAT mom who arrives at school to find your child is the only one dressed incorrectly or doesn’t have money for civvies day/school photos/Valentines balloons (even better – good parents NEVER, ever leave this till deadline day – it is just not done). After all the above, we need to ensure we have an adequate amount of “me time” – because there is loads of time left in the day for this. Oh and don’t forget you still need to squeeze time in there to hit the gym or have a jog. Last of all, do not even THINK of complaining about motherhood. Or the stress of it all. Or how you sometimes feel like you can’t cope. Or the fact that you love your kids but sometimes you just want to hide away from them in the cupboard and eat speckled eggs. You MUST love every single moment of it, because - as I previously mentioned - they will be bigger soon. So do not get upset when you have to ask your son 10 times to go fetch shoes from his room. Do not get upset when you catch one of your precious angels pouring the whole bottle of their new bath wash into the water “just for fun”, or throwing stones into the swimming pool. No. We should never EVER raise our voices – It shows lack of control. We should never EVER show our weakness – or that we are actual human beings that get overwhelmed sometimes. Does all the above seem like madness to you, or is it truly just me who can’t juggle all this in perfect harmony? If there are moms out there that CAN do all of the above – you are my heroes. Please can you pass on the knowledge to the rest of us that go to bed frazzled with dirty hair? But, can you make it into a CD or something I can download off iTunes please? I don’t have time to read a book – plus, when I do have time, it’s far too dark in the cupboard to see.
