Lessons from Children
Have you ever wondered what your life would be like without kids? Wow, when I write it down like that it sounds awful… but have you? Would you be richer? Would you be less stressed or happier? Would you have more free time? I went to Cape Town a couple of weeks ago. My brothers were visiting from the UK and Australia, and my sister lives down there so we all decided to visit her. Due to the cost of flights etc I couldn’t actually afford to go, so my brother paid for my ticket. Freedom right? Well, I felt as though I had lost a limb. As lovely as it was to spend quality time with my family (and a much needed day on the beach) 4 days without my children and husband made me feel lost and a little lonely, even though I wasn’t alone. I was one of “those” moms. Constantly checking how my babies were or what they ate and asking what they were doing “right now”. I had far too much free time. Okay, the sleeping in part was amazing, but the not kissing my children goodbye at school gave me huge FOMO believe it or not. I have recently read an article about how parenting makes you less happy than people without children, or something like that. Which I can safely and positively say now is total bull. My life without my children and husband, even in the bright sun, is a little grey. I was, without a doubt, born to be a mom… a mom with pink hair and far too many tattoos (number 13 was done over the weekend) who loses my temper more times than I would like to admit. A very imperfect mom. But still a mom to the core. Reflecting on how much more cheerful my life is with my little family made me think of things that would be missing in my life without them. I have compiled a list of just some of them: 1. A treats cupboard to dig into. Our TC is single handedly the cause of my spare tyre and hail damaged thighs - all those yummy packets of sweets and cookies bought well in advance for Friday lunch box treat day. And the packets are always far too small to just have one! Coincidently, they are all sweets my husband and I also enjoy. The last few weeks I have cleared the TC out and am determined to buy said Friday treats the evening before Friday… Which had led to us eating the newly bought treats on the Thursday night and then frantically scratching in our wallets for Tuck Shop money. 2. An excuse for being late. Those excuses change slightly as your children grow, for example: “So sorry we are late! (Insert name of child still in nappies here) decided to have a giant poo JUST as we were about to leave and we had to change his entire outfit! What a mess I tell you! *Pulls disgusted face*” was a regular excuse when our kids were still babies. This then changed to “Sorry we are late, (Insert toddler child’s name here) is having a nap and we hate breaking routine, they really act out when their routine is disturbed”. Now we usually go with something like this: “Sorry we are late. (Insert most believable name here, which is sometimes my husband) couldn’t find their shoes/pants/toothbrush/breakfast”. We are running out of viable excuses nowadays though. Any suggestions? 3. An endless supply of wet wipes. I mean, what did people clean their cars or blow their noses with before kids? I couldn’t imagine my life without them. Sticky finger prints on your iPad/laptop? Wet wipe. Looked down mid-morning to see you have toothpaste (that may or may not even be from you) on your top? Wet wipe. The only thing I don’t use a wet wipe for is crumbs on my shirt. Those I lick off – I don’t believe in wasting after all. 4. Experiencing the total magic of Christmas. I mean, I love Christmas – I always have. But since kids? Buying the kids presents, and the whole Santa thing takes it all to the next level. I have to snap out of it sometimes because I start believing it myself! I thought being a kid at Christmas was fun, but it is nothing compared to having kids at Christmas. The pure joy on their faces is a wonder to watch and I love every minute of it. It’s the 14th of November and our Christmas tree is already up and I have been hiding little presents for the kids since June. Eager much?
5. Laughing at the things they say. Come on, some of the stuff they come up with is classic. Daddy is the handsomest in the world (this I agree with) and Mommy knows everything. Our kids make us feel like total rock stars. They also say the funniest things and are smart as hell. The other day I listened in to a conversation between my two regarding whether or not it was okay to take sweeties from Santa if the opportunity ever arises, since he wasn’t technically a stranger. It was decided that if Santa gave them sweeties in front of their mommy or daddy then said sweeties should be safe to eat. Good call. 6. An excuse to shop. Who are we kidding, when the need for retail therapy arises, it doesn’t really matter what is bought. My shopping itch is normally scratched with the purchase of new underwear and socks. Oh and hair bands. So many hair bands…. 7. A love for colour. My wardrobe consisted of black and navy blue before my children came along. Since them, I wear bright colours, I dye my hair pink, I have their names tattooed on my skin with colour and I paint it on my nails. Even my work files have pictures of candy all over them. My kids have taught me that its ok to dance to your own drum beat. That all that matters or is remembered in life is the kindness you show another person or animal and that I am enough for them - no matter what I weigh, how much my roots are showing or how big my bum looks in that apple green dress.
Yesterday morning I lost my temper. Again. Casey was going at a snail’s pace all morning and bringing me the most ridiculous choices of shoes for school – from winter boots to high heels – and I was now running late for work. I felt myself boil and then I erupted. Afterwards I felt nothing but shame. I apologized to my little girl who looked hurt by my outburst, and I told her that mommy makes mistakes and says things I shouldn’t too. And she forgave me. Just like that. In the end I was actually 5 minutes early for work, but I couldn’t get her little hurt face out of my head. My kids are teaching me things every day and I would be a fool not to take notice and learn. They show me that there is always time for 5 more minutes, one more story and a little more patience. That sometimes tempers are lost, but it is possible to forgive – just like that. They have also showed me that nothing I ever do will be as rewarding as seeing the love my kids have for me or the love my husband has for them. Parenting makes you less happy? I have never heard of anything more ridiculous in my life.
