Holiday Nappies and a Far-too-tight Harness
Right, so I my blog writing has tapered off a bit lately. I started writing it because I loved it! I loved sharing my crazy-yet-entirely-relatable (I think) life stories. But after a while I started to become a bit obsessed about that "number of people reached" bar I see under each post, and I began judging how good my blog was based on whether or not the number was a high one. Those numbers have declined somewhat recently, which has knocked my already pathetic self esteem. But... then I remembered that it shouldn't matter how many people are reached or how many shares I get (I don't think me sharing my own post and my hubby's share count anyway). What matters is that I do it for enjoyment, to laugh at life and for myself (and all that other soppy stuff).
A lot has happened the last few months. One of the highlights has to be my birthday - the big 3-0. My husband treated me to a spa night and stay over at the hotel. It was amazing, but not without my usual awkwardness. As I got dressed in my gown I couldn't decide whether I should or shouldn't keep my bra on. On or off? On or off? Did you know there are no signs for this kind of thing. Ridiculous! Surely there are dozens, if not hundreds of women questioning themselves and their life choices based on whether they leave the bathroom dressed as they are supposed to? I really think there should be a "Spa Etiquette" notice taped on the back of the lockers or something. I am one of those that hide myself in the loo and change, so I couldn't even have a quick sqizz to see if any of the other ladies were leaving their tatas to hang free.
In the end I decided to leave both my bra and my camisole on, you know, just in case... This lead to me being told to remove them prior to my full body massage and an awkward moment as I tried to wrestle it all off while lying down on the treatment bed.
All in all it was a winner present for me and such a treat for this Mom.
Christmas was amazing! We drove to Cape Town to visit my sister and her family. It took us 20 hours in total, as we had a stop over in Jeffrey’s Bay on the way. The kids were relatively well behaved and only spent 80% of their waking moments fighting about whose foot was touching whose and why this was totally unacceptable. We seriously considered making a divider out of a box to separate them. Luckily I spent a lot of those 20 hours sleeping and my husband used the opportunity to take selfies whenever he stopped for petrol - me next to him with a double chin and mouth open. Nice.
New Years Eve was WILD. We got Dunkin Donuts and stayed up super late - 10:30pm! Crazy right??
Our drive home was in itself an adventure. On our way to our stop over just outside Colesberg we ran out of diesel. The place we were set to stop at looked a bit dodgy and the petrol gage's 'distance to empty' thingy depleted faster than it said. We were about 10km from a petrol station. Barry drove (spluttered more like) up some random driveway and we came to a stop outside a farmhouse. I was having a mini panic attack and we were both praying hard. Barry got out the car to speak to a man who came outside to see why strangers had entered his property. I couldn't hear what they were saying. Then another man came out and boomed "Fransie, wat's fout nou!?" (“Fransie what’s wrong now!?”) loudly. Barry explained the situation to him and he didn't look too impressed. They chatted for a bit longer. I got out to introduce myself and Luke was getting restless. I felt like a terrible mom. Barry felt like a total dork. Then something amazing happened. We were invited in to have a glass of red juice and NikNaks while the farmer's son, Fransie, went to go get us diesel. There was a massive queue at the petrol station so in total it took the poor guy an hour and a half! We sat in the cool farmhouse kitchen (with our juice and NikNaks) listening to Farmer Frans and his daughter tell us all about his farm, his sheep and springbok and how they ended up there. His wife came home and was just as friendly and kind. We went outside to see all their dogs and petted the gorgeous sheepdog as our car was filled up with a can of diesel. We then got in our car and off we went again, feeling grateful and a bit dazed at the surreal events that unfolded. The kids and I were saved from a long wait in the hot car and my hubby a very long jog (and let’s just say he is not a big jogger) in the boiling sun. I can't wait until we can do it all again (although we will definitely make sure we never run out of diesel again) and we will without a doubt pay a visit to our favourite farmers with a gift in hand.
It was my daughter’s birthday last weekend. My baby girl is seven already! I can’t believe it! Anyway, to celebrate we decided to go to Sun City for the weekend. I learnt two valueable lessons during our time away. Firstly I learnt never to pack in a rush. Lists, brain storms and a printed and laminated plan may be needed for our next trip. My son still sleeps in nappies (more on that another day) and I went and forgot to pack any. We only realized AFTER bathtime on the first night and off my husband went to the only shop that was open... only to find no nappies - so I told him to get the next best thing. What’s that you ask? Maxi pads. Yup, that’s right. We stuck nighttime maxi pads inside my son’s undies and told him they were small holiday nappies. Judge us all you want, but what would you have done??
On our last day the birthday girl wanted to do this new obstical course that is high up in the trees. Feeling daring, I decided to be the one to go with her. It involved climbing over ropes, balancing on thin beams and several zip lines in between for about 40 minutes. At each platform I would look down at the skinny girls suntanning in their little bikinis and feel my stomach clench with envy (although it may have been hunger now that I think about it...). I haven’t been that skinny since I was 11. Why can’t I look like that? (okay, if I am honest I know why). I looked down at myself in disgust. Here I was, balancing on a little plank seriously doubting its ability to hold my weight, (suffering in silence due to the biggest and sorest cameltoe I have ever had in my life thanks to the harness I was wearing) with rolls in places that used to be flat once upon a time. My darling daughter chose this time to ask, with true child-like loudness “mommy, why are you sweating so much?”
And that was the moment my second lesson was learnt: if you ever want to do an obstical course in the trees wearing a harness, make sure you have a couple of Luke’s small holiday nappies handy.
Have an awesome week everybody!
Xx
