Confession: 6 Fibs We Tell Our Kids.
Let’s be honest, we have all told little white lies to our children in order to either avoid an awkward situation, save a bit of sanity or get our own way right? Right??
What about the little lies we tell to try keep the magic of childhood alive for as long as possible?
The extreme amount of effort and sneakiness we put into Christmas is crazy – from the Elf on the Shelf and finding the best hiding place for presents; to the cookies we put out for Santa and carrots (or beans like last year when apparently everyone had the same idea and the shops were all sold out of carrots) for the reindeer who somehow manage to find a way into our home without breaking a single thing but leave snow prints all over the dining room. I tell such elaborate stories about how Santa knows exactly what presents to buy and how he gets them into our house that I actually have to remind myself that it isn’t true.
Also, the Easter Bunny and I are tight. Because of our good relationship, he always knows whose house we are at after church in order to deliver the (far too many) Easter treats to the correct address. Most of the time, we are at my Dad’s house (the Easter Bunny likes that garden for hiding eggs you see). Due to my long-term ‘momnesia’ and Barry’s long-term ‘drug brain’, this means that my dad gets to find the odd melted egg in his bushes and pot plants for weeks afterwards.
Then there is the Tooth Fairy, who doesn’t collect teeth with holes in them or teeth from children who don’t listen to their parents. Casey has never been as well behaved as she is when she has a perfectly white loose tooth.
There are other fibs we tell our kids though.
Ones that they will probably remember when they are older, and may even tell to their own kids. I have made a list of our most used little white lies, which are bound to catch up with us sooner or later:
Almost every instruction, whether it be on a cereal box or toy, says “Always listen to your Mommy and Daddy.” Sometimes things like “You are not allowed to take this to school” or “Share with your brother/sister” is added depending on the product. The year Casey learns to read is fast approaching though, so the writing is on the wall for this one… Which is a real pity.
“The Easter Bunny has made your eggs with magic chocolate that disappears when you are naughty.” This is a win-win for us really. Our kids are either extremely well behaved or we get to eat chocolate eggs.
“If the police see, Mommy and Daddy will get into big trouble!” Luke likes to take his arms out of his car seat straps. He doesn’t un-clip himself, so the belt basically stays only fastened around his waist. This means we had to constantly check that he has his straps over his shoulders… which stopped when we told him that if the police see he isn’t strapped properly, Mommy and Daddy will get into huge trouble. Now every car with any type of advertising on it is a potential undercover policeman, checking that all the kids in cars are correctly strapped into their seats.
“The iPad automatically switches off when you start fighting over it.” 1 iPad + 2 children = World War 3. One day, a perfectly timed dead battery gave birth to our latest genius fib and all of a sudden they now know how to share! Amazing!
“Oh no! The batteries are flat again!” Whoever invented toys that make loud noises over, and over (and over) again obviously hates parents. The same applies for the people that buy said toys for kids’ birthdays. (Yes, that’s right, I am onto you!)
“It is just sleeping!” – This is pretty self-explanatory. I know I will need to confront this issue sometime soon… I just don’t feel I can deal with my little girl’s sad eyes AND stop Luke from trying to poke whatever it is with a stick at the same time just yet.
There are also a couple of lies my kids have believed which we needed to correct. For example:
If you run out of money, it’s okay! You can just go to the nearest ATM and get more – there is an unlimited supply in there! – Ummm, no. As much as I would love this to be true, it is unfortunately far from the case. In actual face; if you do this enough, not only will you not get any more money, but the ATM won’t even give you your card back!
Mommy knows everything. The constant “why’s” got really tiring one day and I responded with “I don’t know”, to which Casey responded “But you know everything Mommy!” I almost didn’t want to correct this one, but in the end I felt that the bigger life lesson here was that she realizes that it is okay not to know everything. It did make me up my game to the “Why” questions though. I now tell her that I don’t know, but we can Google it – and I learn something new too! (ATM stands for Automated Teller Machine by the way…)
Both girls and boys can have babies. Casey came home one day saying that one of the kids at school told her that Daddy can have a baby too. That was an awkward moment that I wasn’t quite ready for, and I felt a little flustered. Luckily my answer “no, it’s just Mommies that have babies my Love” was enough and the conversation steered in a different direction.
How will they react?
I always wonder how our kids will react when they learn the truth about Santa and the rest of the imaginary posse. There have been a few close calls, but we have luckily always managed to save the situation somehow - Like when Barry dressed up as Santa one year for the Christmas party at Casey’s daycare when she was 3. Casey was absolutely terrified of the strange man in the red suit, until she caught a glimpse of the watch he was wearing, which looked very similar to her Daddy’s. When it was her turn to get her present from ‘Santa’, she just stood there, starring into his eyes and smiled. She knew her Daddy’s eyes. We told her that Santa sometimes asks daddies to help him when he has too many appointments and that he couriered his spare suit to us the day before. Phew. I actually can’t handle the stress of keeping it up!
When they do discover that the snow was in fact flour, the beans were put back in the fridge and the teeth are in my jewelry box; will they be upset that it wasn’t true, or will they be touched by the amount of effort we put into it and appreciate the thoughtfulness, planning and unwanted Santa Cookie calorie intake (okay, maybe not so unwanted) it took over the years?
A time will come when our kids won’t listen to us even when we are telling the truth. I don’t know about you, but I am going to spend the few years I have left enjoying every minute of having them believe that whatever Mommy and Daddy say is total fact - because these years are short lived.
P.S Please don’t judge us for our little fibs – parenting is hard! Sometimes we need all the help we can get.
What LWLs (Little White Lies) do you tell your kids, or were you told growing up?
