Apparently I don't Handle Stress, PMS or Flu too Well...

So I am starting to think I don’t handle stress very well… Little things like being a bit late for work, running out of bread or cat food or running behind on the nighttime routine schedule sends my heart racing and turns me into a bit of a psycho to be honest.

We recently moved into a new house, which we are renting. We love the house, but I guess with all rentals, you try make it feel like home but it’s never really yours is it? You need to leave it the way you found it, and I take it a little too seriously. I always get quite pedantic about the place with each house we have live in (We have moved quite often over the last few years), but I seem to be worse with this one. We have a puppy who we adopted from the SPCA in February, no one really knows what breed she is – cross pit bull/lab/brown thing. She is incredibly beautiful but soooo naughty. She has chewed the head of Luke’s much adored Buzz Lightyear, as well as destroyed numerous other toys, kids cups, sandals, pillows and a coffee table… totally innocently of course… but she has never touched the garden oddly enough. Anyways, yesterday I came home from work and saw a tiny, and I mean tiiiiiny hole (barely visible to the human eye) she had dug and completely lost the plot. Apparently it was the end of the world as I knew it. I called Barry declaring that I CAN'T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE and that I CAN’T DO EVERYTHING ON MY OWN!! (I am not entirely sure what “everything” I was talking about… but I am sure I would have been able to come up with something if he had asked me). Barry just sat there on the other end of the line quietly while I ranted and raved like a crazy person, barely saying anything at all.

Recent events such as the above have made me realise that maybe, just maybe, I can possibly overreact sometimes. These overreactions may, or may not coincide with a specific time of the month or me having flu… or both in this case. Another example of what could be considered an overreaction to some people is my inner turmoil about the blog I created. So I started it it a week ago, right? Well, since then my imagination has run wild. I have yoyo-ed between thinking it was the best idea ever - planning my outfit and acceptance speech for winning Best Newcomer at the (prestigious, yet imaginary) red carpet Blog Awards - to being truly convinced that everyone is reading them; or worse, NOT reading them; thinking I am the biggest idiot in the world (yes, the whole, wide world). I have spent more time thinking the latter, which has made me consider deleting the thing about half a dozen times (at least) and I have given myself total stage fright and writers block. 

Considering this; I have been doing some deep, inner reflection lately (It really seemed to work for Po in Kung Fu Panda 3, so I thought I would give it a go) and I have come to the realisation that I have this invisible level I expect everything to reach. It is stupid and I need to work on it I know… Who knows where it comes from? Perhaps from the unrealistic representations of life in movies or Mills and Boon books?

Some of these unspoken (and ridiculous) expectations causing me much stress and anxiety are:

1. A perfectly clean home with no animal hair (ummmmm…. We have 4 cats and 2 dogs so this is near impossible).

2. Perfectly clean kids who should experience life, play and run around outside while remaining entirely grass-stain/food-stain/mud-stain free (Who am I kidding here? The kids are covered in a layer of cat hair and Luke has toothpaste and oats all over his shirt and face - and sometimes his hair and shoes - before we even leave for school in the mornings).

3. Clean hair and smooth legs at all times (I laugh at this. I used dry shampoo this morning, so that counts as clean now, doesn’t it? And I don’t know where my razor even is! I may need to lower my expectations considerably on this one).

4. Being on time for everything, if not 10 minutes early. Another funny one - I must be deluded. We have two kids who, more often than not, need to wee RIGHT before we have to go. Luke will then decide he would like to take his little stuffed springbok (Frikkie) or his rhino (Ryno) in the car; causing Casey to run to fetch her doll (Nora), as well as a brush - MY brush - and numerous hair accessories for it. I will then realise that I have forgotten to pack a spare change of clothes for Luke and a jersey for each of the kids (even though it is 30 degrees outside, you never know!). And just like that, we are already 15 minutes late and we haven’t even left yet.

5. 500 000 followers on my Blog's Facebook page within the first week (I totally came close! I was only 499 890 short).

6. A husband that listens to my whining and complaining, and lets me take my frustration out on him for no reason. Then, instead of getting irritated with me, buys me flowers and chocolates and watches Grey's Anatomy with me (AND enjoys it) while stroking my hair and feeding me handfuls of specked eggs (ha! You thought I was going to say something like "grapes" there didn't you? Don't be ridiculous. Firstly you can fit waaaay more speckled eggs in your mouth at once, and secondly the kids would have finished the grapes). 

--This is a totally legit expectation actually… I feel it probably shouldn’t even be on this list. --

Seriously though, I am really lucky in the Husband Department - HD for short. Barry does actually listen to me whine and complain (but I am not entirely certain he doesn’t just rest the phone on the table and walk away for a bit) and I do get flowers and chocolates. Although, a total negative for me is when he stuffs his face with MY hidden chocolate stash and then blames it on MY period. Totally unacceptable. He makes up for it though by making me laugh till I almost wet myself... a lot.

1. To be able to fit into my wedding dress. This, I found out the hard way (I almost ripped the dress trying), is no longer possible. Two kids and numerous slabs of Topdeck Bubby chocolate and bags of Chuckles later, my body aint what it used to be, sadly. I guess I am ok-ish with that, as long as it is covered with layers and I don’t look in the mirror or any shop window reflections.

There are loads more now that I am thinking about it, and I really need to learn how to chill! I guess I have to figure out where to even start doing that. Parenting, it seems, requires mainly patience and a great sense of humour… and I find myself lacking both - a lot.

I wonder if there is a ‘Laid Back Parenting for Dummies’ book out there? But will I find the time to actually read it? Not so sure... Maybe, since I have never actually watched it till the end, I should put Kung Fu Panda on again for clues on how he managed it.