Love and War at Dinnertime

I am exhausted. Like, for real guys. Barry was away for work AGAIN this week (Don’t even get me started on that one, I will moan for days about it) and it has been madness at home… I made a promise to myself every day (Every. Single. Day!) on the way home that there will be no shouting in the house that day. I give myself a little pep talk that goes something like this: “Come on Kelly! You’re the Mom here. Own it! You can do this! It’s so easy. Just… don’t raise your voice. Simple as that. Don’t show your weakness! They can smell it!” By Thursday evening, I was arriving home from work chanting “Kel-ly! Kel-ly! Kel-ly!” in my head, so pumped for the evening of awesome, controlled mothering ahead of me…. Fat lot of good that did me. By dinnertime I was running around - dazed with only one sock on, making lunches, feeding dogs and running bathwater. The kids were at the table fighting over some random nonsense and, from the bathroom, I was screaming “STOP FIGHTING! YOU LOVE EACH OTHER!!!!!” I stopped for a moment to wonder whether I was reminding them or trying to CONVINCE them, and also realized how cold my one foot was…. I have found a way around the supper challenge – some healthy sibling competition. “Listed up!” I said. “The first one to finish their food can choose the colour ice-lolly you guys are going to share. AND you can choose which half you want.” Their eyes lit up. The prize was a worthy one. Then, Barry Skyped us, which really riled me up for the single fact that he looked so CHILLED OUT - his hair and beard all windswept from a short trip to the beach after work to fish. I propped the phone up on the couch while the kids ate. They LOVE Skyping Daddy, it’s the coolest thing ever. He chatted to them for a bit, then ended the call by asking the kids whether they were being good - they nodded enthusiastically. “Good babies! Listen to your Mommy, Love you. Mwah Mwah Mwah. Bye!” Egh. SO annoyingly chirpy…. (I love you really, Babe.) Honestly AS SOON AS his face disappeared off the screen, Luke was crying. What was wrong you ask??? Casey told him that his cup was red, when IN FACT, it was red WITH THE HULK ON IT. I mean, Hello?? How hurtful and mean can a sister be? Casey then started crying too, running towards me talking as fast as she can as if she was stating her case before a judge. Luke had called her “Monkey” (A cute nickname Barry has given her, but Heaven forbid anyone other than Daddy calls her by it, as it then becomes a disgusting insult apparently). One of them smack the other, can’t remember which one. The other one then decided it was fair to smack back. More screaming on my part followed… “STOP ITTTTT!!! GO TO YOUR ROOM, BOTH OF YOU!”… Chaos. Madness. End of the world. I took a deep breath, counted to 10 (100 would probably have helped more) and went in a few minutes later. They were sitting with their backs facing each other, clearly not ready to begin peace talks. I asked them why they were fighting. Neither one could remember. They hugged it out and two minutes later they were laughing in the bath. What the heck just happened? It was bedtime next. Casey decided that she wanted to tell us a story. It was honestly the most confusing 10 minutes of my life. The characters kept changing and my mind raced to keep up, wondering whether there was something stronger in that Paracetamol I took. There was a cow and beans, Moana and trolls? Also “brother and sister dragons” called Lacy and Mook featured at one point. Barry is called again to pray, and then its lights out. Sweet relief….. I have my own dinner, bath and get into bed. Casey is on a mattress next to me and Luke is on Barry’s side of the bed, both sound asleep. Both of them have their arms stretched out towards my side of the bed, as if trying to feel for me. I watch them for a minute and smile. Then I get into bed and hold their hands, saying a prayer to God full of gratitude and appreciation for these amazing little blessings we have been entrusted with to raise. Luke kicks me, Casey starts snoring…. Man, I love these kids and I love being their Mommy. 

Tomorrow, no shouting, I swear!