Momming Like A Boss
We all know parenting is the most rewarding thing you can ever do....
We also all know that it can kick your butt - leaving you in a dark corner curled into the fetal position, crying by the end of the day. This was me by last week Thursday evening.
Like I said before, Barry was away last week so by Friday I was so fed up from asking nicely, shouting and downright begging for the kids to get ready in the mornings that I resorted to (GASP!) bribery. 10 bucks to the child who got dressed, had their breakfast and put on their shoes without me having to prompt them to. This resulted in Casey, now ready waaay before me, standing at the front door holding out her hand for her R10 note (which I didn’t actually HAVE – but I promised to provide said R10 by the end of the day).
Luke? Well he hasn’t really realized the concept of money yet so it had no real effect on him, but we were still out the door in record time. I did a quick calculation…. R200 a month seems like a small price to pay for some sanity, I’d day. With some tweaking (like a price drop perhaps or including bath time cooperation into the deal) I may be onto something here......
Another issue I faced this week that I would like to vent about is the next craze to hit parents' pockets – Mini Shoppers. (In case you don't know, these are little toys you get for every R150 you spend at a store. The mini shoppers are little replicas of real product and are pretty damn cute if I am honest. I have a love-hate relationship with them.) First we had the Stickeez, then the Animal cards followed by the Mini Shoppers 1. Queue the Stickeez 2 "Under the sea”, Animals cards 2 (African Animals?) and the Mini Shoppers 2. Guys, please! 30 different little products to collect TIMES TWO for 2 kids at R150 spend to get one? That is R9 000 worth of shopping to get them all! Not to mention the crushing disappointment on my child’s face when they open it and realizes they have that one already. It’s like our dog running away all over again - every single time (we found our dog, in case you were wondering...).
Shopping has become a similar experience to gambling. Will we win the mini Bovril/Milo/toilet paper that we need today??? Except these winners don’t know when to stop – we are hit with the panicky feeling that the shop may discontinue them MID-COLLECTING! The thought keeps us up at night. What kind of a mother would I be if they didn't have their collections completed? Or worse! What if one child had the whole collection and the other didn’t! Would it lead to long-term emotional scarring? Life-long therapy appointment??
It has also lead to unnecessary spending just to get more….. and perhaps our unnecessary spend should go towards practical items – like stocking up on dog food or cleaning products – but no, we find ourselves going home with 5 bars of chocolates and a year’s supply of ice cream and hair clips. Finally, thanks to Casey’s friend’s mom and her ninja swapping skills, we have finished 2 collections for the kids… but, now that they are finished, do you think I will let said kids actually play with them? Are you nuts?! My blood, sweat and tears went into those collections. I have put on 5kgs to get those collections! We have begged family to do their monthly shops as specified stores of our choice to get our hands on those little blue packets. They are Mini Shopper GOLD! So now we start to collect a THIRD set… one that can be used for what I am assuming it was intended for - playing shop-shop without mommy counting the products over your shoulder. Well played Checkers and PnP, well played.
Tonight I rushed home from work, spent a few minutes making bead key rings with the kids then started dinner (haha I'm kidding! I put their meals in the microwave - I found these awesome ones from Checkers (Yes, they were originally bought just to get more mini shoppers...) for when life gets in the way of my fish finger cooking or Barry's 3 course meal prep). Barry got home and then decided to do some very safe frozen-pork-rib-cutting with a sharp knife and sliced a hole into his hand! Seriously, it was a hole.
He rushed off to get stitches leaving complete madness behind him. Me, remaining cool as a cucumber on the outside while FREAKING out inside and trying not to pass out/vomit/crawl under the table; kids crying and blood on the kitchen floor. After receiving several frantic messages from me asking if he is okay, he responded telling me he is playing a golf game on his phone while he waits for the doctor and that he is starving. Wait, what! He then proceeded to send me close-up pics of his wound. So I guess he is ok then..... bit of a drastic move just to get some alone time with your golf app, in my opinion.
I totally handled that home situation like a boss. The kids are in the bath (not crying - I managed to convince Casey that there wasn't a hole straight through Daddy's hand and it was decided between the three of us that he may only use forks and spoons from now on), dogs are fed and lunches are done for tomorrow. I have even checked bags for letters from school (and am bitterly disappointed that the one time I remember to check, there are none.)
The stress of it all. I could totally smash a pizza and one of my 5 bars of chocolate right now.
#theminimiloismyfavourite #yesIwaswearingthisjerseyyesterday #coolasacucumber #whenlastdidIshave #momminglikeaboss
