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11 Mom Confessions

So I read a pretty nasty article the other day, and for some reason it really made me mad. And sad. And bad (and all other negative feelings that rhyme). Basically it was a woman who ripped into some moms who blog about their thoughts on motherhood and their daily lives as parents – the good, the bad and the ugly – in a funny, sometimes exaggerated way.

The blogs really make other moms feel like their meltdowns are normal. That, feeling like a total mom failure, is almost expected and that they are not alone. The best part is, you realise that you are one of thousands of ladies going through the same thing and that there is no judgement…

Well, that was before this mean article came along, dripping with superiority and smugness anyway.

So I thought I would have a mom ‘confession time’. Here are 11 of my worst ones. Judge if you would like….

1. I can’t cook. There, I said it. Probably the one I am judged the most for. What mom can’t cook?? All of us are supposed to be able to put a healthy, balanced home cooked meal on the table every night – it’s part of the “mom job”. Truth is… I can’t AND (here is the worst part) I don’t want to either. The mess freaks me out (ridiculous isn’t it?) and I just don’t enjoy even trying, especially when we get home at 5:30/6pm at night. I have perfected my fish finger oven timing though – 8 minutes on 220 degrees, turn over and put back in the oven for 6 minutes. This is served with a quarter of an avo, a mielie and some tomato. Alternatively, when my hubby doesn’t cook, they get microwave meals from Woolies (very healthy ones, veg and all I promise).

2. I have, more than once (more than twice if I am honest), hidden in my bathroom and scoffed a bag of speckled eggs/a bar of chocolate/half a jar of Nutella so quickly I didn’t actually even taste it.

3. I have told my daughter she won’t like the nougat I was eating as it was made with mayonnaise just because I didn’t want to share. She now refuses to even try nougat, convinced we are trying to trick her into eating mayonnaise…. Oops.

4. I forget to return reply slips to school. A lot. I lose my kids message bag. I forget to check for letters. I forget to pay for school photos.

5. I gave my kids a Coco-Pops bar and Milo for breakfast this morning. I know. It is really bad. I was so late for work, my alarm didn’t go off and Barry is in Durban. I had to paint my son’s face like a clown for school, feed the dogs, pack bags (try remember to check for letters) and get them AND myself ready in an hour. I just couldn’t manage :-( To make it even worse, I then tried to convince Casey not to tell her teacher. What is WRONG with me?? (I contemplated typing something healthier instead of Milo there, but that would have been a lie.)

6. Here is another bad one… I forget to RSVP for kids parties. I have the invite! I put it on my fridge, or on my well-intended pin board in the hall. I even buy the present! But then it gets lost behind shopping lists, kids drawings and star charts and slips my mind. When I finally remember, it’s too late to reply and I am so embarrassed that I leave it even longer! Other moms seem to remember to do it. Moms reply to my kids’ invitations. How is it that I can’t remember such a little thing, how hard is it?

7. I enjoy going grocery shopping alone. I walk slllllowly and down every isle, especially the cleaning isle. That’s weird I know…

8. I shouted at my kids so loudly the neighbours heard me once. (They only told me once… it may have been more.)

9. A couple of times, when Luke has asked me to lie with him at night, I hoped he would fall asleep really quickly because I had stuff to do.

10. I promised Casey I would read her bible with her two days in a row and forgot both times, then when she reminded me at bed time I told her it was too late, and promised to do it the next day.

And the last one:

11. I go to bed every single night upset with myself about something I said/didn’t say or did/didn’t do/forgot to do. I lie in bed feeling a bit nauseous with guilt. Thoughts run through my mind like: “Why can’t I be more like the other moms?”, “Why did I wish my little boy to sleep so quickly? I am supposed to cherish every second with them, and bedtime is the best time to bond!”, “Why did I lose my patience so easily tonight? Come on Kelly!” I eventually fall asleep promising myself I will try harder; be a better mom, a better wife; tomorrow. I somehow always manage to disappoint myself – Every. Single. Day.

I love my kids more than life itself; and sometimes I just look at them in awe, full of gratitude. They are the best thing that as ever happened to me and our lives would be totally empty without them. But damn, raising little people is hard! Especially when you are trying to help them be secure, well rounded, kind, loving and well behaved little people. Trying to juggle 10 balls at a time, work all day and remember to buy milk is exhausting – for me anyway. I see other moms that seem to have everything together, and here I am all over the place! The intense love, coupled with crushing guilt is overwhelming. Sometimes I wonder how I will cope when they are older, when I already seem to let so many things slip now!

Admitting these things isn't to try compete in who can be the worst mom. Failing is a normal part of being a parent, I think anyway. Whether you work full-time, half-time or are a Stay At Home Mom – it doesn’t get any easier. One mom may make her own granola for her kids for breakfast, limit their TV time and feed them strictly gluten-free lunches; while another gives her kids Weetabix for breakfast, lets them watch as much TV as they want and feed them ham and cheese sandwiches with a banana for lunch. The point is, both moms are trying their best to be the best they can be… And I think we can all be a little less judgmental and a little more supportive of each other.

At the end of the day, I may feel like a total loser mom a lot, but my kids are happy, healthy and think I am the best mom in the world… so maybe, just maybe I am a bit too hard on myself - and maybe, just maybe you are too!


Meet the Mom  

Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Business Owner and Artist. Jack of all trades, master of none.

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